Sacrifice
by LittleMonkeyPo
Summary: [AU] One day, everything you have done to protect the people you cherish can be reduced to ashes. One day, you have to fight even if you wanted to stay away.
1. Prologue

« The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, their virtues make them vulnerable; they are often wounded, sometimes destroyed. » - Ernest Hemingway

* * *

**Prologue**

It started like any Friday, she woke up early, went for a run, ate breakfast and went to college. Natalie Zane was a happy twenty-two year-old law student, she had a great boyfriend and an amazing job. It was a job she couldn't hate : she was the babysitter of a smart and funny three year-old boy, Lucas . He was a really cute little boy, with blond hair and blue eyes, always running around and telling jokes.

She got the job few days after the boy's birth, his father was an old friend of hers, as they went to law school together, and she felt more like an older sister to Luke than a babysitter. She couldn't love her job more than she actually did. But she wasn't like any babysitter. She was special because Lucas was special. His father was a cop, and not a bad one, he used to go on undercover operation. The man hadn't told her more than that when he asked her if she could babysit his newborn son.

She picked up Luke at daycare, it was one of the most expensive of the city, there was a security agent at the front door and cameras everywhere, and they got home a little after five o'clock. She was excited, Luke's dad had the week-end off, so she had it too, she was supposed to meet friends and have a party on the beach. The kid was excited too, his father promised him they would go surfing during the next day.

Cameron was in his pajamas, playing on the floor of the living room, while she was proof-reading what she wrote during one of her classes. The little boy was loud, as always but she didn't seem to mind.

« Nattie ? » he said, reaching for another toy « Where is my daddy ? »

She looks at her watch and smiled before answering that his daddy should be home in less than five minutes. It was a little before seven pm, and he hadn't text her to say he was late. She wasn't worried. Yet.

* * *

There was a protocol if he didn't get home. Something she hoped would never happen, a list of things she had to do. He told her about it when Luke was three months old, he talked about his previous life and why she needed to do the things as fast as possible. (Because his life might depends on it.)

She was holding Luke against her chest as strong as possible, she had a backpack and a handbag, and kept on Monty's leach firmly. She didn't know where she was, she gave the cab driver the address she found in the letter. The first thing she had to do was to open the safe under Marty Deeks' bed, take the letter and leave the place with the kid and the dog.

She pushed the door with her elbow, her whole body shaking, fearing what might be inside the strange building. She hasn't even stepped into the place that the anti-intrusion alarm went off and half a dozen of guns were drawn on her.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter one**

* * *

Callen smiled widely at his partner's last joke, the atmosphere was light and friendly, as the team had save the world, another time. He was in the middle of the open space, looking at Sam, Kensi and the newest member of their team Sheldon Mandras. He liked the new agent more than the previous one, but he knew that he wouldn't last long, Kensi hadn't kept a partner more than four months since Deeks had left.

« So, up for a beer partner ? »

He didn't have the time to answer that an piercing sound was echoing the building. It was the first time he was hearing the sound but he knew what it meant : there was an intruder. Sam was just behind him, his gun in hand when they saw who the intruder was. A young woman holding a young boy in tears.

« What the hell ?! »

« Who are you ? » asked Callen, ignoring his partner comment

She was still shaking, she had let down of Monty's leach when the alarm went off, and the dog had disappeared. The handbag was one the floor, and the only thing that kept her from falling was Luke who was crying on her shoulder. The alarm stopped, and everybody was nervously aiming at her.

« My name is Natalie Zane, I'm here to see Hetty Lange. »

« Everybody, guns down. » said Sam « What do you want ? »

« My employer asked me to entrust his son to her if he didn't come home. »

« Your employer ? »

« I...I want to talk to Hetty Lange. »

The short woman appeared from behind Callen, and move her hand, motioning to the agents who weren't needed to go away.

« Young mister Deeks, if you would please stop crying. »

The little boy stopped squirming and turned around before moving again, trying to get on the floor. Kensi's mouth was wide open, while Sam and Callen didn't looked surprised when the boy hugged Hetty's legs.

« Hello Lucas. »

« ET. »

« I will spank your father if you continue calling me like that. » smiled Hetty « Miss Zane, where is mister Deeks ? »

« I don't know, he should have come home around seven, but he didn't, I tried to call him, I called the police station but they said he left at his usual time, and I couldn't reach his partner, so I did what he asked me to if he didn't come home. »

« It's almost ten pm. » said Callen « Why did you wait so long ? »

« I just...I don't know, I thought he would come home. »

* * *

Hetty smiled at Luke who was falling asleep in his nanny's arms. The babysitter and the little boy were on the couch, Monty at their feet. Callen and the older woman sat in front of them while Kensi, Sam and Sheldon were standing behind them silently. Upstairs, Eric and Nell were already searching for information.

« How long have you worked for Deeks ? »

« Since Luke's birth, he's a friend of my dad. »

« So, a little more than three years ? »

« Yes. » she nodded

« Was he acting strangely lately ? »

« No, not more than usually but he asked me if I would agree to carry a gun few weeks ago, he felt like he was followed. »

« Did you agree ? »

« Yeah, I'd do anything to protect Luke. So, I bought one, and I went to a shooting range, it was...I didn't like it, I told him I felt sick with it in my purse, he understood and I went back to the store. I have a pepper spray, and I take self-defense classes. The gun... »

« Were you followed ? » asked Kensi

« No. There was a black car in front of the house, maybe four months ago, but mister Deeks said it was just an old friend. »

« A black car ? »

« Yes, actually Luke has...»

She started searching in the little boy's backpack and when she found it, she showed it to the agents around her. The little black car was a Dodge Challenger, the exact same model Sam was driving.

Kensi said something no one understood before heading upstairs.

* * *

She was upset, she felt betrayed and sad, she felt like she was a bad person. She had done bad things over the years, things she wasn't proud of, but it was always for the best. She wanted her baby to have a better life than hers, a life full of joy and love with two parents.

When she first found out she was pregnant, she was scared but Deeks was here, and he was so understanding and loving that she thought they would be able to raise their baby, and have a great life. Soon enough, she had realized that her life was not compatible with being a mother, it was something she wanted, a family, a beautiful house, and everything that went with it, but she wasn't ready.

When she gave birth, she was alone. She knew that her mother and Hetty were in the hallway, waiting. She asked the midwife to take the baby as soon as he was out, she told them she didn't want to see him, because she knew that a single look would change her mind. She always believed that he was in a normal family. No one had ever told her he was with his father.

She didn't know he was a boy until she heard Hetty calling him « Young mister Deeks ». She had dream of him, even if sometimes he was a little girl, always the same blond hair, and the mischievous look. She was surprised because she knew. A mother always knows.

« Kensi ? »

She looked up and wiped the tears on her face. She was sitting in a corner of the hallway, breathing loudly as the tears continued to stream down her cheeks.

« I am a monster. »

* * *

.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

_« I am a monster. »_

« You're not. »

« Most of the days, I can't look at me in the mirror you know, I just see this horrible woman who left the man she loved and gave up her child for adoption. I put work before family. I am a monster.»

« You are a remarkable person Kensi, and even remarkable makes mistakes, that's what makes them human. How can you hate yourself for putting the safety of your children first ? You wanted him to be safe, you wanted him to have the best life possible, that's what mothers do. And I can assure you that Mister Deeks doesn't hate you for that. He was angry, but he isn't anymore. »

« How...How long have you known him ? »

« Since his birth, I was with Mister Deeks when he first hold him, when he named him. He will never hate you for wanting the best for him. Both of them actually. »

« His name is Lucas. »

« Yes, it is. »

« I had a list of first names in my night stand, there was a dozen of girls names, and three boys names. When I decided to give him up to adoption, the list disappeared. Lucas was the first name I had written on the top of the sheet. What's his middle name ? »

« Henry. » answered Hetty with a satisfied smile « His full name his Lucas Henry Deeks. But he usually goes by Luke. Don't beat yourself up miss Blye, I would have done the same thing. »

« Hetty ? »

« Yes ? »

« What happens if we can't find him ? »

« Well, I think that we have no reason to believe that for now. »

* * *

Eric didn't have a lot of information, but he had enough to help his coworkers. The video of Deeks' abduction was blurry, but they could see most of what was happening. The car was parked in an almost deserted street, in front of the restaurant he was heading to. Deeks stayed in the car for a minute and just when he got out of the car, he was surrounded by three men dressed in black. One of them shot the Detective, and less than a minute after that, Deeks' body was on the back seat, and one of the men was driving his car.

« I can't find his car anywhere. »

« There was no flash ! » exclaimed Sam « Put it again, when the guy fire...Yeah, here. See ? No flash. »

« Non-lethal gun. They want him alive. » said Callen « Eric, did you go through Deeks' phone record ? »

« Yes, there was nothing out of the ordinary, but he was on the phone just before the abduction. »

« With who ? »

« Her name is Alice Vaughn, her brother is Deeks' partner Ben Vaughn. »

« Okay. Kens, Sheldon, go talk to her, Sam and I are going to the precinct. »

* * *

Kensi was on Alice Vaughn's doorstep sooner than she expected. She drove faster than she used to, causing her current partner to hold his seat tightly during the ride. She knocked on the door, and even if it was ten on a Friday night, it opened in few seconds.

Well, maybe she had knocked a little too hard on the door.

« Alice Vaughn ? I am Agent Kensi Blye of NCIS, and this is my partner Agent Sheldon Mandras, we are sorry to bother you at this time, but we have few questions we'd like to ask you. »

« NCIS ? What do you want ? »

« Do you know this man ? » asked Kensi holding a picture of Deeks

« Yes. »

« Do you mind to elaborate ma'am ? »

« Listen, I don't want to talk to you...»

« No, you listen.» said Kensi « This man is missing, and you are the last person who talked with him. »

« Marty...It's one of his jokes right ? He's hiding. Where are you Marty ? »

« It's not a joke, we believe he was abducted earlier tonight. Do you know if he had any enemies ? »

« I am sure he has a lot of enemies Agent Mandras, he is a cop. »

« You're not stupid, and neither am I, so you either talk to us, or you end up in custody. »

« I don't have to tell you anything. »

« Then you will follow us. » said Kensi before dialing Callen's number « We're taking Alice Vaughn into custody, she refuses to collaborate...Okay, thanks. »

« Wait a second. You said NCIS ? »

« That's what I said. » replied the brunette

« How am I supposed to trust you ? »

« Seriously. » laughed Sheldon « The badge isn't enough ? »

« Deeks shot his father when he was eleven. He hasn't seen his mother since he was nineteen, and he worked as a stripper to pay his room when he was in college. And he learned how to tie his shoes at twelve. »

« You were his partner. »

« I was. And we need your help to find him. »

« Okay. »

« Can we come in ? » asked the young man « It would be safer, for you and for us. »

« Yes. » she said, letting them enter in the apartment « He called me, he was picking up food and he asked me if I wanted to come over tonight, I said I couldn't because I had work and he told me he would call me later. What happened to him ? »

« Ma'am, what's your relation with Detective Deeks ? »

« He's my boyfriend, and my brother's partner. » she answered « Tell me, what happened. »

« We don't know much for now. » said Sheldon

« Did he had trouble at work ? Or with anyone ? Anything he might have mentioned would be helpful. »

« He said he felt like he was followed, but it was weeks ago. He seemed okay, maybe more stressed than usual, but I don't think this is related to his...disappearance. »

« Why ? »

« Luke is an amazing kid, really clever and he started asking questions about his mother. Marty didn't know what to tell him, he was upset, he said he couldn't handle it on his own, I don't know what he meant. »

« How long have the two of you been dating ? »

« Few weeks, but we've been friends for a year or so. It's really complicated, Luke liked me at first, but when Marty and I started dating, things changed. »

« The kid doesn't like you ? »

« Yeah, I guess that's what he meant when he told me I wasn't pretty enough for his father. » she said « He was laughing, but he wasn't joking. »

Kensi was trying not to smile, but she could imagine the little boy, his father's look and her personality. She told Alice Vaughn that they wanted to take her to protective custody, and the woman agreed.

* * *

.


	4. Chapter 3

Wow thank you for the feedback, this is amazing ! I forgot to read proof the prologue, and the result was a big big big mistake with the first names. I am so sorry, I understand how disturbing it can be. I want to thank you all again for reading my story and following/favoriting/reviewing it !

* * *

**Chapter 3 **

* * *

The place was a casual three bedrooms house, with a fully equipped kitchen and a large living-room. It was bigger than any of the safe-house she had stayed at, a comfortable home where Luke, his nanny and Alice Vaughn were going to stay for a few days, hopefully less. The three bedrooms were upstairs, Deeks' girlfriend was in the master bedroom, the babysitter in one of the guest room, and Luke in another one.

The little boy was already asleep when Kensi arrived with Alice, she quickly told the woman that she wasn't authorized to go outside and led her to the room she was going to sleep in. There was two agents in the living-room, talking and eating burritos, Kensi sat with them and ate, but she wasn't hungry.

She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep, she knew that her brain wasn't going to stop, that she was going to think of the worst scenario possible. It was the middle of the night, and she was finally falling asleep. There were murmurs coming from the kitchen, and the two agents were sleeping soundly on the floor.

She pushed away the blanket and got up, her hand on her gun, ready. Maybe she was turning crazy, maybe the voice was in her head, she was going back to the living-room when she saw the light. The fridge was wide open. She looked around but no one was there.

« Hi. »

She jumped. The little boy was on the floor, stretched out on his belly, his chin resting on Monty's back.

« Hey. What are you doing here ? »

« Nothing. » he smiled « Stay down Monty. »

He took his time to stand up, he didn't stop looking at her, a cute and shy smile on his lips. Monty squeaked, the dog had no intention of moving, but Luke repeated himself with a playful smile.

« He's a cop. » said Luke « He is old, but he is my cop. »

« Yeah, I know, he saved my life once. »

« Really ? »

« Yes. So, why aren't you sleeping ? »

« I wanted milk. But everybody is sleeping, and Monty don't wanna help. »

« Seriously Monty ? » she laughed « Come here, you want to sit on the stool ? »

« Please. »

She lifted him up, and sat him on the stool before switching the light on. She opened one of the cupboards, took two glasses, and closed the fridge after taking the milk. She sat next to him and filled their glasses of milk.

« Thank you. » he murmured before drinking a sip « Do you know my daddy ? »

« I do. »

« He is working, ET said I had to come here with Nattie to be safe while daddy's at work. »

« ET. » she laughed « Oh, you are the only one who can call her that. »

« I'm special. »

« Yes, you are. »

It's not a question, it's a fact, he is special, because he is a part of her, and a part of her partner. He is so special she had to abandon him.

« What's your name ? »

She hadn't talked to him before, she was so scared when she first saw him, she thought that he would know who she was, that he would be angry.

« Kensi. »

« You are pretty. I like your hair. »

He was so much like his father that her heart broke a little, she looked at him, she really looked. His blue eyes, his blond locks on his forehead, his little hands around the glass of milk, his feet on her knee, the little toes, his navy blue pajamas with the inscription _If you think I'm a hobo, wait until you see my dad. _

For the first time in months, she laughed. Luke looked at her and asked her why she was laughing, she answered that it was because of what was written on his shirt, and he started laughing too. They laughed for a while, and then Monty is trying to climb on her, licking her hand as she tries to push him away.

« Can I have ice-cream, please ? »

« Nope. »

« Please, and I'll help clean. »

« Your father taught you well, but it don't work with me. Come on, bed, it's the middle of the night, we'll see tomorrow. »

« For breakfast ? »

« Lunch. »

« You're pretty, but you're not fun. »

« I know. »

She helped him down and put the empty glasses in the sink. When she came back next to him, he was on his knees petting Monty.

« Can you carry me ?» he asked « My legs are tired. »

« Sure. »

She took him up, and he immediately put his arms around her neck, letting his head on her shoulder. Monty was following them as they made their way to the bedroom. The lamp on the bedside table was on, she softly dropped him on the bed and tucked him up.

« Wait. » he said « I know your secret. »

« My secret ? »

« Yes. » he yawned « My daddy told me. »

« He...You should sleep now. »

« There is a princess, she is pretty and she smells like the sun, she is special. Daddy said I will know she is princess because she is special, her eyes are different. You are the princess... »

« Goodnight Lucas. » she said, kissing his forehead

« 'Night mommy. »

She spent the night looking at the ceiling, clutching a pillow against her chest as strong as possible. She felt like she couldn't breathe, and at one point she closed her eyes. When she opened them, it was few hours later, the sky wasn't dark anymore, and she had a text message from Nell.

_LAPD found the car, forensics are working on it. There was a small amount of blood, but not enough to get worried. We'll find him soon, but in the meantime, you need to keep Luke safe. _

The message was sent thirty minutes ago, she paused for a minute, wondering if Nell knew about Luke and kept the secret.

_Thanks Nell, I know you and Eric are doing your best, but don't forget to sleep and eat. Keeping him safe it's what I've done the past three years, and I won't stop now._

She never really felt guilty because she knew that she had to let her baby go to keep him safe. She missed him, mostly in the first few months after giving birth, it was like a part of her was missing, but she always told herself that it was for the best.

But now, after seeing him, after seeing that he was just like his father she wondered if she did good. She wondered if she wasn't just selfish. Callen and Sam went through the living-room before she had time to think about it. The two men were holding steaming cups of coffee and a box full of pastries.

« Breakfast ! » yelled Sam « Oh, you're already awake. What's up ? »

« I hate myself. » she muttered « And I had a talk with the kid. »

« You learned something ? »

« He's like a little Deeks, without the facial hair. » she answers « And you ? »

« Nell told you about the car ? » said Callen, giving her the coffee cup

« Yes.»

« Forensics are still working on it, but they said that the blood is Deeks'. »

They were all seated on the couch, eating the donuts and drinking coffee. The television was on, but muted, they felt helpless, Deeks was still a member of their team, and they couldn't help him.

« That's all ? »

« For now, yes. The truck is nowhere to be found, no witnesses, nothing. If we didn't have the surveillance footage...»

Callen stopped talking when he saw Luke coming toward them a big smile on his face. He hugged the little boy, who then went to Sam, and Kensi. Sam tousled the boy's hair and lifted him up in his arms. Kensi watched the scene with a thoughtful smile whereas her son was slowly waking up in her friend's arms.

« Hey Lucky Luke, you slept good ? »

« Where's my daddy ? »

« He's working, but he'll be here soon. Okay ? »

« I want daddy, we surf today. »

« I'm sure he'll do his best to take you to the beach. Why don't you watch cartoons ? I'm sure Sponge Bob is on. »

« Watch with me. »

« I can't, I have to go back to work, but maybe Kensi can watch with you...»

« I will. » she said « So, Sponge Bob ? »

« Yes ! » shouted Luke, leaving Sam's arms to Kensi's

* * *

Sam's hands were gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles were almost white. The former Navy Seal was quiet, Luke's voice was still in his head, asking him where his daddy was. He needed to bring Deeks back to his son, he had to because if he didn't he knew he could never forgive himself.

« We need to find him, G. We need to find him alive. »

« We will. »

« I don't want to tell Luke he will never see his father again. You know how I felt about Deeks, he's such a jerk sometimes, but...he is a good man, and an amazing dad. I want to find him. »

« Are you...Sam, it's not your fault if he was abducted...»

« No, it's ours. He took his stuff and left the team when Kensi said she didn't want to keep the baby. We took her side, and he was alone...»

« Come on, you know that's not true.» replied Callen « We tried to talk to them, but Kensi didn't want to hear what we had to say. She thought she could keep the kid safe if he was in a normal family, and Deeks didn't want to let anyone raise his son. He wanted to be a dad, he took his chance, and he didn't tell. He was abducted because of something he did a long time ago, not because he isn't a part of our team. »

Sam nodded and looked at his partner, even if he didn't know why he felt responsible for what was happening, he and Deeks had never been such things as friends, but they were a little more than coworkers. Callen's phone started ringing and he answered after saying to his partner that they were going to find Deeks.

« Hey Nell, tell me what you've got. »

« Forensics found a partial print in Deeks' car, it belongs to Ryan Peters, a drug dealer, Kensi killed his brothers almost eight years ago. »

« Does he have any known associates ? »

« Not really, he got out of jail few months ago, but we're working on it. »

« I need to know if Luke is in danger, find the boy's birth certificate, tell me what's on it. »

« You think Deeks was kidnapped to hurt Kens' ? » asked Sam

« Maybe. If they know that she has a son, they'll try to get to him. »

« Deeks is listed as Luke's father, and the mother is K.B. »

« Just initials ? Nothing more ? »

« Yep. Ryan Peters address is on your phone. »

« Thanks. »

« I'm going to make this guy's life a living hell. » growled Sam « He'll wish he died sooner. »

« I don't know if you're talking about Peters or Deeks, but either way... »

« I was...Man, I was talking about Peters. »

« Or Deeks. » smiled Callen

* * *

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	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

* * *

The senior agent was thinking of the first time he met Lucas, he was a six months-old chubby baby at the time, with little hair and a gummy smile. He remembered the expression on Deeks' face, surprise and fear, the detective was nervous at first, he believed that Callen wasn't going to keep the secret.

It was a Friday night, Callen was out of beer, and he didn't want to end up in a crowded bar, so after work, he stopped at a convenience store. He had his head in one of the fridges, when he heard the voice.

_« Hush little baby or daddy's gonna buy you a bottle of tequila. »_

_Callen stopped and turned around, the man was turning his back to him, but he recognized the blond hair, and the voice. Marty Deeks was holding a baby in one arms and bottle of alcohol in the other. He closed the fridge's door, and went toward the cop. _

_« I understand now why Monty is stupid, you fed him tequila. »_

_« Seriously ? » laughed Deeks « That's not the truth, maybe he drank beer once or twice, but...Ah...Hush baby...»_

_The baby was squirming, pushing away his father's chest with his arms and his head. His eyes and nose were red, but he was still one of the cutest baby he had ever meet. Deeks put the bottle back on the shelf and they shook hands. _

_« It's good to see you, and who's the little one ? »_

_« That's Luke. Lucky Luke, say hello to Callen, he's a friend. »_

_« He's a mini-Deeks. »_

_« Yeah, but he has his mother's grumpiness. »_

_« I bet. » smiled Callen « I didn't know you had his guardianship. »_

_« Hetty helped. I couldn't let strangers raise him you know. »_

_Callen smiled and looked at the tired baby, he was a perfect mix of his parents, he could see more of Kensi as he watched him, his mouth, his nose and his chin, it was Kensi's. _

_« Do you want to come over ?» asked Deeks « I wanted a bottle of something strong, Luke is six months old today... »_

_« I would have liked to... »_

_« I understand, you are loyal to her, she's your friend and...»_

_« You are my friend too Deeks, and I wasn't going to decline, just saying that I was going to get drunk alone, we had rough days. »_

_« Oh. »_

_« I'm going to grab some beers. »_

_« Okay. »_

_They went back to Deeks' place, a little house on Manhattan Beach that Hetty found few days after Luke's birth. She paid for it, and told him it was a present for the baby. They sat on the couch with their beers in hand, Luke was asleep in his bouncer. _

_« He's asleep, God, I didn't think he was going to sleep tonight. He caught a cold at daycare, and he's teething, he was so fussy this morning that I had to call in sick... He's so smart you know, sometimes he makes sound that looks like words, and I...I have no one to share it with. I wish... »_

_« She's far from being fine, she spends hours at the gym and she had two partners in four months. I think it's hard for her too. »_

_« I know, but I wish I could share those moments with her. It's hard to be a parent, but it's harder to do it alone. I want to be the most amazing dad ever, I want to give him everything I have, and I have to do it by myself. »_

_« Remember how easy it is today because when he'll be a teenager, you'll feel like you are in hell. »_

_« Yeah. Callen, can I ask you something ? »_

_« Yes. »_

_« Take care of Kensi, I want him to have the choice, if he wants to meet her one day. I want him to have his mom if something happens to me. »_

_« I will. »_

_« Thanks. »_

* * *

His partner's voice, telling him that they had arrived at the suspect's home brought him back to reality. Sam had noticed that his friend was daydreaming but stayed silent, knowing that he needed it. They got out of the car, and walked toward the building.

« Where were you ? » asked the former SEAL

« First time I met the kid, and the conversation I had with Deeks, he was tired and sad, he asked me to look after Kens'. »

« Eh, it's what we do every day. »

« You know, the little car the kid has, I bought it for him. »

« Really ? »

« I couldn't stop thinking about the kid, how he was going to grow up without his mom, I don't know why, but I was so happy for them when Kensi told us she was pregnant, she was happy, they were happy. I knew what it meant for Deeks to be a father, so I was...kind of excited...»

« You love being 'Uncle Callen'. » laughed Sam

« I don't. »

« You do. »

« I thought it would be great if he had something from us, a reminder that he's a part of our family, and I saw your car. I wrapped it in and left it on the doormat with a note. »

« What was on the note ? »

« Something like, ' To Luke, may the force be with you.' »

« Oh my god, you didn't. »

« I did. » smiled Callen before taking his gun « On three. One.»

« Two.»

« Three.»

He kicked the door easily, screaming they were federal agents. The place was empty, and it looked like no one has been there for days. Sam called Eric and asked him to see when Ryan Peters had left his apartment.

« I was going to call you. » said Eric « We found something. Peters' last cellmate was Alan Jones, he worked for Ibrahim Makhai a Libyan, we arrested him few years ago but he was released because of diplomatic immunity. Makhai is an henchman, but we don't know...Oh god...»

« Eric ? What's going on ? »

« Nell just found who's Makhai employer. It's Gregor Pavlov. »

« Shit. » muttered Sam « Call Kensi, and send more agents to the safe house, we're heading back to OPS. »

* * *

He couldn't breathe, his nose was broken, there was blood all over his face, and his whole body was in pain. He couldn't breathe, but the men were talking to him, asking questions he couldn't answer because he didn't know. He only recognized one of the men because he had arrested him with Kensi many years ago.

« You know, I'll make you talk. » said the man with a thick accent « I won't kill your son, I won't touch him, because family is important. I have a son too, his name is Kris, he is clever. I won't hurt your little boy, but I will kill you. »

« Fu...»

« My men, they said you work with NCIS. » continued the man « The mother of your child killed one of my men's brothers. He seeks revenge...»

« Wha...do you...want ? »

« I want you to tell me everything you know about my business here. »

« I...I'm just...a cop...»

« Then, we'll ask your friends. »

* * *

.


	6. Chapter 5

Hey everyone ! I wish more of you would review, but eh, we can't have everything ! So thanks for reading ! :)

* * *

**Chapter 5 **

* * *

Kensi was still on the couch, Luke was watching cartoons with a satisfied smile on his lips. He wasn't aware of his babysitter ans Alice Vaughn's loud discussion with Agent Mandras in the kitchen. Deeks' girlfriend was asking when she will be able to go home while Natalie wanted to know if they were safe.

« Stay here. » she said to the boy before going to the kitchen

« I understand you are concerned but we are doing our best... »

« Doing your best ? There are fifteen men around the house, how are you going to find him...»

« Okay, that's enough. » interrupted Kensi « They're here to protect you. But if you want to leave, I won't stop you, my job is to make sure Luke is safe, I don't care about you, and I'm sure that those who kidnapped Deeks don't care either. »

« Then I'm leaving. »

She left the room looking at Kensi as if she was going to punch her. The agent was smiling wryly, she didn't like the woman because she was her former partner's girlfriend. She asked Sheldon to make sure two agents will follow her and stay in front of her building before going back to the living-room.

Luke was asleep, his body like a starfish on the couch, he was using Monty as a pillow and the dog didn't mind as he was sleeping too. She took her phone from her pocket and snapped a picture, she wanted to remembered this moment for ever, the face of her little boy, his mouth half-open, and his messy hair. She wanted it to last forever.

« You are his mother. » said the babysitter « Right ? »

« Yes. I am. »

« Few months ago, Luke started asking questions, there was an older kid at the park who asked him if I was his mother, and Luke said I was his nanny. When we got home, he was...he was thinking a lot, he had something on his mind, and he asked where was his mommy. I told him I didn't know, that he had to ask his daddy, and I told mister Deeks about it. He wasn't ready for that, he was scared, he told me he didn't want Luke to hate his mother. After a week or so, Luke was still asking, and mister Deeks was avoiding the question. »

_« We went to park today, and there was a mother and her child, Luke asked me if she was his mommy. I don't want to...I know that's none of my business but he needs to know. »_

_« Yeah, I know, I just don't know what to tell him. »_

_« The truth. » _

« He told him a story, I don't know what was the story, Luke said it was a secret, but he stopped asking...I don't know what's going to happen to him if we can't find his dad. »

« We'll find him. »

« But if you don't, I think you should take care of him, you're his mom, and he likes you. »

* * *

Eric and Nell were working on Ryan Peters' computer, searching for emails, or files when an alert had appeared on the young man's computer. '_Something NCIS should want to see' _was written, with a link below. He clicked on it, and then froze, both hands lifted in the air. Nell was already on the phone with Hetty when he started breathing again.

« It's live ? » asked Nell, before looking at her partner « Eric ? »

« Yeah, it's live. Maybe three to four seconds late, I'm tracking the IP address. »

« Mister Beale, Miss Jones. » said Hetty « Put it on the big screen. »

They did as they were told, and the live feed was now a full-screen video. Deeks was in a dark room, there was a single bulb above his head, it was light enough to see the blood on his face and clothes. There was a caption at the bottom of the screen. _The show starts at 12. _

« What's...Oh God...»

Sam and Callen stopped walking at the same time, both seeing their former partner on the large screen. They looked down at Hetty who was telling them that it was a live streaming.

« Can you find him ? »

« I'm working on it, but...»

« We'll find him. » continued Nell « We just need time, they are really good, but we are better. »

« The show starts at 12. It's in thirty minutes. »

« Call miss Blye, tell her to come back here. I'll be downstairs, I have calls to make. »

* * *

The pain was almost unbearable, but it wasn't like he had never felt it before. He had been tortured, shot, and stabbed, he was used to pain. But there was something more this time. He was worried, his job was to protect his son and he couldn't do it. He didn't know if Natalie took him to Hetty, he didn't know if he was safe.

It was worst than the pain.

His wrists were tied tightly to a metal chair, his ankles too. He had counted his injuries several times, he had a broken nose, a deep cut on his left cheek, maybe few cracked ribs, he knew that none of his injuries were deadly. But he also knew that it was only the beginning.

* * *

Five minutes before noon, Hetty, Sam, Callen and Kensi were in the OPS center, looking at the screen in front of them. Deeks hadn't move once, but he was alive and conscious. They knew it because he was taping his finger against the metal chair. Eric and Nell were still tracking the IP address, and every few seconds, one of them would swear because they had lost the track.

A phone number appeared on the screen at twelve o'clock, and Nell dialed it. It rang three times, and a man appeared on the screen, just behind Deeks. He was tall, dressed in a black suit, the agents couldn't see his face because he was turning his back to the camera.

« Hello, I guess you are my friends from N.C.I.S, I am happy that you called. »

« Who are you ? » asked Callen

« Oh, yes, I am sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I am your nightmare, but most of my friends call me Gregor. »

« I'm not your friend. »

« Soon, you will be. But first, we have to make some arrangements if you don't want to create a war between your country and mine. »

« We don't negotiate with terrorists. »

The man hang up, and took a knife out of his pocket. He smiled at the camera, and Eric started the facial recognition. Hetty told Nell to call again, but the man wasn't picking up. Instead, he slapped Deeks in the face, and when the cop had opened his eyes, he stuck the knife in his thigh.

* * *

.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 **

* * *

_« Daddy ! Daddy ! Wake up ! » _

_It's not even seven in the morning, but his son is already jumping on the bed, screaming and laughing. He wanted to stay in bed all day long, just him buried under his comforter for hours, and then maybe surf for a while. But instead, he had a happy two years-old far too awake for a Sunday morning. _

_« Daddy ! »_

_He loves waking up to his son's laughter, sometimes, Luke just sit next to him and stare until he wakes up, sometimes his face is against his father chin and he blows kisses, but most of the time he would jump on the bed and laugh. _

_« Daddy, we swim ! »_

_« You wanna go to the beach ? »_

_« Yes ! »_

_« You wanna call Uncle Callen and ask him to build sand castles with you ? » _

_« Yes ! And ice-cream ! »_

_« Breakfast first, little ninja. » he smiled « You asked Monty to help you get dressed ? »_

_« No ! I did it ! »_

_« Oh, my baby is big boy now. »_

_« I'm big ! »_

_He laughed and lifted his son, to carry him under his arm. He took a picture of the little boy when they got into the kitchen, he was wearing a gray sweatshirt Hetty had bought for him, with little ears on the hood. _

_« It's not because you're my son, but you're cute. » said Deeks « And I send the picture to Hetty. »_

_« ET. »_

_« One day, I'll pay for that. »_

_« Daddy ? »_

_« Gimme a minute monster, I need coffee. »_

_Luke stopped chewing and waited. Both hands on the table, he watched his father filling his cup of coffee. He wasn't a monster, maybe a little daredevil, but he wasn't that bad. Deeks knew that he wasn't a troublesome child yet, but he was his son and Kensi's. He already had a great sense of humor, loved to run around and eat junk food. _

_« What do you need Luke ? »_

_« I love you daddy. » said the little boy with a proud smile_

_« I love you too. »_

_« Ice-cream now ? »_

_« Seriously ? » he laughed « Eat your cereals ! »_

* * *

His dream wasn't over when he woke up, a dull pain in the face. He felt the blood flowing from the cut on his cheek, and he opened his eyes to see his captor hammering a knife in his leg. He screamed, and the man was laughing while holding a phone in his hand.

« I didn't want to stab you, but these friends of yours don't want to negotiate. »

« Fuck you. »

« Yes, maybe I'll take your partner for that, what's her name ? »

« Touch...her and I will kill you. »

« Ah, I believe I am not the one with a knife in the thigh and a bloody face. But I will let you try. » he smiled « Kensi. Her name's Kensi right ? Such a beautiful woman, all the things I'll do to her if they don't want to give me what I want. The two of you are easy targets you know. »

« Go to hell. »

« Yes, I already booked my flight. » he laughed « I'm going to answer this call, please, stay quiet. »

* * *

Eric slapped his computer monitor, furious. He was seconds away from knowing Deeks' position when the man hung up, and he knew that he and Nell were the only one with the capacities to find their old friend.

« Call again. » ordered Hetty

« We have to save him. » muttered Kensi « We have to. »

« And we will, miss Blye, but we need to remain calm. Mister Callen, when this man will pick up, just play his game. »

Callen nodded and took a deep breath. He knew what to do, he had done it so many times before, but for once it was different, for once one of his friends was on the screen.

« Are you ready to negotiate with me, or do I need to stab him in the heart ? » said the man after a minute of ringing

« I'm listening. »

« Great. You have something, a piece of jewelry which belongs to my mother. »

« I don't have anything. »

« I know Agent Callen, I know, I am not stupid. Your agency has it. My brother-in-law was arrested few months ago, he had it with him. I want it back, it is one of the most important thing I have. »

« You want your brother-in-law too ? »

« I took care of him. »

« Really ? »

« Yes, he had a mysterious accident in jail... Anyway, I want this necklace more than anything. »

« That's all ? »

« No. I also need the password of a missile launcher. »

« Excuse-me ? »

Callen almost laughed, the picture of Gregory Pavlov was on a screen, the man was in his fifties, green eyes and gray hair, he looked like a businessman, not a Russian mobster. He was the kind of man you wanted to trust because of his good looks, and because he had a degree in chemistry and environmental law. But Callen wasn't taken in.

« You have an hour, the necklace and the password for the RIM 161 who currently is in the Black Sea. »

« I need more than an hour, the necklace is in Washington. »

« I don't care, I said an hour. After that, no medical attention will be lavished on your friend. »

He hung up and threw the phone away before taking the knife off Deeks' leg. He played with the knife for a moment before sticking the blade in the cop's other leg.

« I have a location. » said Eric just when Pavlov stabbed Deeks

« Where ? »

« Outside the city, a warehouse near the Lake Elsinore. »

« It's more than an hour from here ! » shouted Sam

« You better hurry then. » said Hetty

* * *

He closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them again, he wasn't in the dark and gloomy room. Instead, he was sitting on his surfboard, tears streaming down his face, mixing with the salty water.

It wasn't a dream, a memory maybe, even if he knew that he didn't surf that day because he was scared to let himself drown. He could feel the pain in his body, not the unbearable physical pain that caused him to faint, the psychological warfare in his head and heart.

He remembered the pregnancy, a real roller-coaster, fear, happiness, distress, and denial at the end. He could hate her, even if he wanted to, he knew that she did it for them. He was the happiest man on Earth when she told him she was pregnant, he was constantly like an eight year-old on a sugar rush. He helped her believe in herself, he knew how amazing she would be.

And one day, after a rough case, she told him she couldn't do it. She was seven months pregnant. She said the baby had to be protected, she said they couldn't do it. He fought, with all his heart, with everything he had, because he felt like he was a father. He told Hetty we wanted to take the baby, he told the social worker, and no one told him he couldn't do it.

He didn't surf the day Kensi told him she was giving up their baby to adoption. So he closed his eyes again.

* * *

.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

* * *

She was checking the warehouse's basement with Sheldon and LAPD Detective Ben Vaughn, there were shots fired every few seconds, she was sweating and almost shaking. They had made it to the warehouse in less than forty-five minutes with the help of LAPD, but still, she felt like it may be too late.

Sam and Callen were upstairs with some LAPD officers fighting against Pavlov's men. They knew Deeks was still alive because of the live feed, but Eric had informed them that they stopped seeing him when they got into the warehouse.

« There's light. » said Sheldon pointing a door with his flashlight « You ready ? »

« On three. » she answered « One. »

« Two. »

« Three. »

The young agent turned the doorknob, and Kensi stepped into the room. It was where Deeks was held prisoner, the single bulb, the chair, she recognized it. Eric's voice in her ear told her that Pavlov and Deeks hadn't left the room, and she aimed the torch to one of the corner of the room.

He was here. Her former partner. Former boyfriend too. Standing in front of Pavlov like a shield. His shirt was bloody, his face, his hands were too, but he was breathing. And it struck her, she still felt like he was her partner, and she was still in love with him. She knew it, but seeing him like that, she felt it, the crack in her heart was still open.

« Let him go ! » yelled Vaughn

« I'm not stupid, I'm not leaving this place on my feet if I let him go ! »

« You got him ? » asked Vaughn to Mandras

« Yeah. Maybe. »

« No, you don't. » murmured Kensi « I can handle it. »

She had a plan, she needed Deeks to wake up. Pavlov was holding the cop so well that if she wanted to shot him, she would have to shot Deeks, and he wouldn't survive a bullet. She moved a little closer, the light of the torch right in Deeks' face.

« Deeks. » she called « Deeks ! »

Pavlov was laughing, and Deeks was still out, but she was able to see his lips moving. He said something, but she didn't have the time to read it. So she yelled his name again, louder, and louder. He blinked.

« Open your eyes Deeks, please. »

Once, twice, and then, his eyes opened. He was looking at her, she lowered the flashlight and smirked. He was diving forward half a second later, while she was shooting three bullets into Pavlov's chest.

Maybe she wasn't fast enough, or maybe she missed her target, because a fourth bullet was fired, from Pavlov's gun. Deeks was on the floor, his face in the dirt, and the last thing he saw before fainting was Kensi collapsing.

* * *

« Kensi... »

He woke up a few hours later in a hospital room, pain throbbing in his body, his mouth dry and his head spinning. He only remembered the last seconds before he had faint, him falling on the floor, the shots, and then Kensi's fall.

« Mister Deeks, how are you feeling ? »

« Like I've been crushed by a train. »

His eyes left the ceiling to look at the woman standing next to his bed. One of Hetty's hand was on his ankle, and a reassuring smile was on her lips. A breath he didn't know he was keeping left his mouth, and he closed his eyes for a second, asking again about his former partner.

« Miss Blye is doing okay, the bullet went between her torso and arm, she had her vest on, so it's just a graze. »

« Luke ? »

« He's in the hallway with Mister Callen and Mister Hanna. » she smiled « And the babysitter was sent home, I told her we would handle him. »

« Did he cause any trouble ? »

There was a knock on the door, and a doctor stepped into the room. He was young and looked more like a model than a surgeon.

« Mister Deeks, hello, I'm Chad Brenner, I'm your doctor. »

« Call me Marty, please, I'm not that old. »

« Okay Marty. You have several injuries that required surgery, we had to repair the muscle in your left thigh because it was cut by the knife, and some nerves were damaged in your right thigh. You will need physical therapy but you will be able to walk without crutches in four to seven weeks. We did our best to minimize the scars, on your legs, you won't be able to see it in few months, but the cut on your cheek was deep and it might be more...»

« I'm a pirate. » he smiled « How long am I staying here ? »

« Two days, maybe three. You had a pretty big trauma to the head, we need to check your brain activity, and be sure that you don't have hemorrhages. »

« Okay. »

« You'll be fine, don't worry. » he smiled « You just need to rest. »

« Thanks doc'. »

« I'm going to check on Lucas. » said Hetty after the doctor had left

She squeezed his ankle gently and smiled looking at the other side of the bed. He turned his head, and saw that Alice was leaning back against the window. He heard the door opening and then closing, before smiling to his girlfriend.

« I was worried. » she muttered

« I'm okay. »

« You're not okay. You... »

« I'm okay. It's not the worst thing I went through. »

« You don't realize how scared I was. »

« Alice, please... »

The door opened again and his son ran in the room, followed by Callen and Sam. The little boy was yelling and laughing as he tried to climb on the hospital bed. Callen helped him up, and stood at the end of the bed.

« Easy tiger, daddy is hurt. » laughed Deeks « Hey guys. »

« You look like hell, man. » said Sam

« Yeah, I know. My face met a fist several times. »

« Sorry 'bout that. »

« I'm okay now, right buddy ? » smiled Deeks

« It hurts ? »

« A little. » he answered « But I have magical potion to help me get better. »

« Then we surf ? »

« Oh yeah, you wanna surf. Maybe later, okay ? »

« 'Kay daddy. »

Luke was on his knees, his little hands on his father's torso. He looked worried and tired, and Deeks knew his son understood that something went wrong.

« Luke. »

« Yes daddy ? »

« I have to stay at the hospital for a few days, so with who do you wanna stay ? »

« You. »

« You can't stay with me at the hospital, you need to go home, take a bath and sleep in your bed. »

Luke looked at Callen and smiled to his father's friend before shaking his head and looking at Sam. He knew it was fun to stay with Sam, he had spent a weekend at his home a few months before, but wanted something else. Someone else.

« Daddy ? »

« Yeah ? »

« I wanna stay with Kensi. »

* * *

.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

* * *

She sat on a bench in front of the hospital. She couldn't stay inside, the doctors wanted to give her some fluids or other medicine, but she just couldn't. She needed to breathe. She was tired, and sick of her life. She wanted to erase the past three years, start again, and do it in another way.

All she wanted was to protect her child, to give him a chance to be normal. She loved her partner, she trusted him to give the same thing to their baby, but he needed more. He wanted to be a father, and she understood.

She knew that a single glance to her baby would change her mind, and it was the scariest thing. Now that she had spent hours with him, she wanted more because she saw how much he was like Deeks and her. She had never been honest with herself, she believed it was the right thing, not because she wanted to, but because she had to.

Time couldn't to heal a lot of wounds, but not this one.

Her phone rang, and seeing it was Callen, she answered. Her heart skipped a beat, the voice wasn't Callen's.

« Deeks. »

« Fern. »

His voice was hoarse, and she had tears in her eyes. The old and familiar surname, a single word was all she needed to be broken.

« I wanted to thank you for saving my life. » he continued

« That's what I do, you don't have to thank me. »

« I guess...Yeah, but I don't think I would have survived if it weren't you. »

« Yeah. » she breathed

« Can you...I have something I want to tell you. »

« Tell me. »

« Okay. I...I have to stay here for several days, and I asked Luke if he wanted to stay with Callen or Sam, but...he asked to stay with you. »

« I do...»

« I know. » he interrupted her « I just had to ask you, even if I knew you wouldn't...»

« I will do it. »

« What ? » he asked, surprised

« I will do it. I will babysit him or whatever you want to call it. »

« Okay. » said Deeks « I didn't think you...»

« He knows I'm his mother. »

« Oh. »

« You told him about my eye, you told him he would know. »

« I...Yeah, and I told him you loved him so much you couldn't stay home, that you had to go fight dragons far away, I didn't want him to think that you left us, that you didn't love us... »

« He knows Deeks. How... »

« I...What do you want Kensi ? »

« I don't know, I don't think I can leave him again. »

« Then, don't. »

« He's amazing. »

« He is. I feel like I'm living with you and a younger version of me, sometimes it can be...challenging, and when I don't know how to do it, I just think of how you did things. »

« Do you think I can take care of him while you're at the hospital ? »

« I know you can. »

« Okay. »

« He will be nice, he likes you. » he assured « Can you be in my room in an hour to pick him up ? »

« Yes, I'll be there. »

« I missed you Fern. » he said, before hanging up

* * *

Lucas was on the edge of his father's bed, his legs swinging slowly. He was holding his teddy bear against his chest, chewing on the ear of the poor thing. Deeks was tired but he couldn't help watching his son, knowing that the little boy was hiding something.

« Lucas. » said Deeks « Hey, son, what's wrong ? »

« I'm good daddy. »

« What's bothering you ? » he asked again

« I'm good. »

« You know, your mommy is going to pick you up soon. »

Luke stopped moving and looked at his father, his eyes and mouth wide open. Alice had the same reaction, the magazine she was reading had fell on her knees and she watched the scene, almost shocked. Deeks reached for his son's hand and smiled.

« I had a talk with her while you went to the cafeteria with Sam, and she told me that you spoke with her about the story. » he continued « I know that you don't understand why I told you it was a secret, and I know that it is the reason you are worried now. »

« You said I couldn't tell anyone because she is special. »

« Yes, but you can tell me, I'm your daddy. »

« She is just like the princess ! » he said, excited « She's so pretty, and she watched Sponge Bob with me. She said yes for ice-cream ! »

« I didn't. I told you to go to bed. »

Kensi was standing in the in doorway, a shy smile on her lips. Luke jumped off the bed and ran into her legs yelling her name. She lifted him up in her arms and he kissed her cheek, putting his arms around her neck.

« Daddy said I stay with you. »

« Yes, daddy need to stay here to get better, so it's going to be you, Monty and me for a few days. You okay with that ? »

« Yes ! »

« See, he already wants to leave me. » growled Deeks « Come here Luke. »

Kensi put Lucas on the bed and took a step back. Alice Vaughn looked like she might shot the NCIS Agent, she was surprised and furious. Deeks smiled at his son's mother and looked into the baby blue eyes.

« I want you to behave, to be nice and polite. You eat what's in your plate, you wash your hair without whining and you don't get up when it's still time to sleep. »

« What if... »

« No Luke. You go to pee before bedtime, you wash your teeth and you don't get up until the sun is up. Okay ? »

« Yes daddy. »

« Good. Mommy will tell me if you don't behave, and if you're not a good boy, we won't go to the beach when I'll get out of here. »

« I wanna surf. »

« Then, you'll be a good boy. » smiled Deeks « Come here, daddy wants a hug. »

« Love you daddy. »

« I love you too monkey. Be nice. » he said « Thank you Kens. »

She smiled and took Luke's backpack. The boy kissed his father again before jumping off the bed and taking Kensi's hand. He waved goodbye and they left. Deeks heard in son's voice in the hallway, the little's boy laughter when he said « Bye ET ! », and then Kensi laughed.

« So, she is his mother ? »

« Yeah. » he answered, still looking at the door

The young woman took her purse and jacket and left without another word. She almost ran into Hetty who was stepping into the room, an amused smile on her lips.

« You shouldn't look so happy. » grumbled Deeks to Hetty

« The Pandora box is open now. » she said, ignoring his comment « I talked with Miss Blye after you called her, she was... She is afraid she's going to hurt Luke, she loves him. »

« I know. »

« She told me everything had changed. »

« She sacrificed a part of herself for him. » started Deeks « She sacrificed our son because she loves him. When she told me she couldn't do it, she said that she knew she couldn't give him up for adoption if she held him. She said that just a second with him would change everything. Yeah, everything had changed, she had hours with her amazing son. I know, I wasn't ready, but I knew that it was coming...»


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 **

* * *

Kensi was sitting on her beach towel, laughing as Luke tried to empty his bucket full of water on Monty. The dog was running in circles around the little boy who couldn't help but laugh and whine at the same time.

« Mommy ! » yelled Luke, coming next to her « You want a shower ! »

« No, I'll be fine. Do you want to build a sand castle ? »

« Huh huh. » he answered

She always thought she would met an upset teenager, she thought that the day she would be in front of him, he would just told her he hated her. But she was wrong. In front of her, stood a three years old little boy who was determined to empty the bucket on her.

« Don't even think of it. »

He laughed and emptied it on himself before jumping on her towel. He went to hugging her and she couldn't push him away so she let him, all soaked kissing her on both cheeks and sitting on her lap.

« I have sand in my hair. »

« I can see that. You're taking a bath tonight. » she said « You can play for five more minutes, then we're going home. »

« Don't wanna. »

« It's late Luke, I'm sure you're way out of schedule. Bath, then dinner, and bedtime. You can play while I get our stuff. »

« Help you. »

* * *

He was out in no time after his bedtime story, he had almost fell asleep in the bath, and then while eating.

It was their second day together, and it went well. They got up, ate breakfast, went to the park, and then to the hospital to see Deeks. Luke told his father how funny his mommy was, and the cop smiled at his former partner. The doctor told them that Deeks would be able to go home the next day but only if he stayed in bed, and the man had agreed, he wanted to get out of the hospital.

She took her phone out of her pocket and dialed Deeks number. Earlier, just before she and Luke said goodbye, he asked if she could call him when their son would be asleep.

« Hey. »

« Hey. » she answered « He's asleep. »

« You worn him out, didn't you ? »

« He ran with Monty for half an hour. » she said « You wanted to talk ? »

« Yeah. I'm going to need help. »

« For what ? »

« Taking care of Luke, and eventually myself. I can't ask Natalie to help me bath...»

« Deeks. »

« Sorry, just kidding. No, I...I need to know where we are. What's going to happen. »

« I can't answer that. »

« Are we friends ? Are we just two people who once loved each other and had a kid together ? Because I know you're not leaving. I know you're going to stay for him, and I need to know. »

« Partners. » she breathed « We are partners. »

« Just partners ? »

« For now, yes. You're right, I want...I knew that it was coming, just not so soon. I still want to protect him but I can't lie or leave again. »

« I know Kens'. »

« I love him. »

« I know, and he loves you too. » he said « Listen, I might need help for a bath but... »

« Seriously ? »

* * *

« Can I sit here ? »

Kensi turned around to see an old lady sitting next to her on the bench. They had arrived less than ten minutes before, but Luke was already playing in with other kid, running and falling on the grass.

« Yes, of course. » she smiled

« Which one is yours ? »

« With the yellow shirt. » she answered

« Oh, the little Lucas ! He such a cutie. » laughed the older woman « Mine are the twins playing with him, Theo and Nathan. It's the first time I see you with Luke, usually it's Natalie the nanny, sometimes I see the daddy, I heard he is single. You are...his aunt ? »

« No. I am Luke's mother. »

« You are ? I wasn't aware... »

« I was... out-of-town. » she said

« Well, you are lucky, an amazing little boy with a handsome daddy. »

« Mommy ! Mommy ! » yelled Luke, running toward her « I go fast on the swing ! »

« Yeah, I'm watching you sweetheart. »

« Hi ! » he smiled to his friends' grandmother, before running away « Take a picture ! Wanna show daddy ! »

She took her phone out of her jacket's pocket and got up to follow her son. Luke was already sitting on the swing asking one of his friend to push him. He was laughing hysterically, calling his mother and shouting « Fast ! Fast ! ».

She shot a video and send it to Deeks, with a text message : _He wanted to show you how fast he was swinging. _Less than two minutes later, her phone vibrated with a reply : _ That's my boy, half a dozen of groupies surrounding him. _She laughed and put her phone back in her pocket.

« You're doing good Luke. »

« Mommy, push me ! I wanna go fast ! »

« You forgot a word. »

« Please ? » he added

« Okay, then, are you ready ? »

« Yes ! »

* * *

Deeks was finally home, he was in pain and tired but happy to have left the hospital. He knew that he was only authorized to leave his bed to go to the bathroom, but he didn't care, he was home. He watched his son asleep between him and Kensi, Monty at their feet also sleeping, and felt peace in his heart.

He couldn't remember a day in the past three years where he was happier. Luke brought him more than he had hoped, but she was there with them, also watching their son.

« He snores just like you. » said Deeks « And he sleeps like you too, in half an hour he'll be a starfish. »

« I wish... »

« No, don't. »

« I would have done it, but not this way. » she continued « I barely slept the first year, a part of me was missing. And you...I thought you were far away, hating me. I thought I lost you and him, and I would never be happy again. I made a mistake even if I did the right thing, and I am sorry. »

« I forgave you a long time ago, he helped, you just need to forgive yourself. And one day, he will ask why you weren't here, he will be mad and we will be strong and tell him the truth. I will tell him that what you did was the most courageous act ever. He won't be mad for long. »

« I don't know how to be...what you expect me to be. »

« Just be yourself then. You don't need us to love you Kens', we already do, Luke, Monty and I. We already love you... »

She watched him and smiled, she felt like she was home with her family, and she knew that she had missed a lot, but Deeks didn't seem to care.

She was home, finally.

* * *

**The end. **

* * *

I know this is really short, but I don't have another choice because I'll be working in a place without Internet for the next two-months. This is the end of this story, but there will be more I promise, there's a lot of things on the road for Deeks, Kensi and Luke.

I want to thank my partner, the amazing Blaise.

And I want to thank you, reader, for letting me know what you thought about my writing.

I will see you in September.

Pauline.


	11. Warzone - preview

Hey ! Here is a little preview of Warzone, Sacrifice's sequel ! You can also check out Little lion man, the prequel of Sacrifice who was posted few days ago.

* * *

Warzone - Chapter one :

Talk. A simple word and a difficult chore. In the past three weeks, they hadn't really talked. After he got home, she took a week off and stayed in the guest bedroom to help him with their son. She and the boy shared a lot, they went to the park, and to the zoo, they watched cartoons and ate junk food. She enjoyed spending time with him, while Deeks was resting, and it seemed that Luke enjoyed spending time with her, as he was always asking for more.

But after a week or so, she had to go back to work, Deeks was doing better and Luke wanted his father. The last conversation Deeks and her had, was the one they had the night he came back from the hospital. Since that day, they just lived together without asking questions or wanting more. She knew she had to talk to him, but she didn't have the words.

Talk. They were bad at that, they had silent conversation, they were able to understand each other in a look. Words weren't strong enough for them, words were for others.

He was on the couch waiting for her, four boxes of Chinese food were on the table and he had opened a bottle of white wine. He smiled and pushed the pillow next to him, inviting her to sit near him.

* * *

I'll see you in September for Warzone, or maybe sooner...


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